It is often difficult to try and save a marriage when both parties feel they are hitting a brick wall with their perceived attempts to be reasonable. The marriage counselor is usually an individual
who is not interested in taking sides but more interested in getting to the root of the problem and finding a workable solution to get the marriage back on the right track.
These people are usually specifically trained to help any situations that are created within the marriage that has gone wrong. Couples seeking the help of a marriage counselor will usually come away quite surprised at what they learn from the sessions.
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The Basics
The marriage counselor will be able to help the couple see things in a different light and then outline ways to help create a more conducive and workable situation where both parties can participate positively towards mending the relationship.
In helping the couple identify the problem both honestly and clearly, the counselor will then be able to get both parties to work on some exercises that will help them to understand each other better, thus allowing the couple to better face the problem head-on when the appropriate time presents itself.
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Make A List Of Your Goals For Your Marriage
Although it may seem ideal to simply drift along through the marriage, it would help to create a stronger marriage bond if both parties work out some goals they can participate in achieving
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The Goals
The goal-setting exercise is important as it helps both parties strengthen their relationship by focusing on a common goal. It also helps to improve communication and creates the desire to help each other in a more conducive manner so that the goals set can be achieved without undue pressure.
The goals also help to validate each other’s contributions to the relationship and also keep both parties accountable and committed. Part of the goal-setting process would require both parties to verbalize their dreams and aspirations for the relationship, thus giving each other a clear insight into the workings of their individual mindsets.
Creating a list individually and then taking the time to sit down together to try and collaborate in forming a new list that will serve each party’s needs comfortably, would be the ideal way to go about the whole exercise of setting goals.
Once this is done, both parties would then have to decide on some sort of timeline that would be suitable and realistic in moving towards achieving the goals set.
This would include having to evaluate and reevaluate certain values and mindsets in order to make the goals set achievable. This time of sharing aspirations can be extremely enjoyable and enlightening if both parties maintain some level of intimacy and cordiality. Having accusations and demands will not help the exercise of goal setting for the marriage. The act of sharing goals can often bring a couple closer together and also keep them more focused on each other throughout the exercise.
It is a given that there will be rainy days in a long-term relationship. However, if the couple is determined and has committed to saving/keeping their relationship – marriage, there are always ways…
